A Raft Called Mediocrity

It’s an easy thing to find yourself stuck in a rut, doing something that you’re not sure you want to do or doing something that you’re good at but have no real passion for. It’s easier still to settle in and convince yourself that it’s what you want really and it’s far too late to change now and float through life on a raft called Mediocrity, waiting for the tide to turn.

Sometimes, I think it wouldn’t be such a bad thing to float along and be average, but my life never seems to turn out that way. I’m no good at being submissive. Sometimes I can try to hold back, but in the end, it always just comes straight out like a big gushing waterfall … and you know that like a force of nature it’s just useless to try and hold it back. Putting a girl with strong opinions on mute – well it’s not going to last for long is it?

I’ve been trying damned hard to work for average recently. Quiet, normal, and even at times subservient (Yeah, those of you who know will be laughing yourselves silly already at the thought) and have come to the point where I realise it’s fruitless. I can’t be something I’m not and (God willing) everything in the Universe and beyond appears to be shoving me towards leaving the easy life behind me and taking the far more difficult but potentially much more fulfilling path. Sometimes it feels like being poked with a metaphorical pitchfork towards your ideals.

Sometimes, it’s comfortable just to have dreams, you know? That thought that sits at the back of your mind, saying “…someday I’ll … live in the Caribbean/ go diving with sharks / teach people to swim with dolphins…” or whatever. It’s probably never going to happen but it’s nice to have that little glow inside you that says there’s more to life than the girl you see shopping and painting her nails. But what happens when you have a chance to actually make the dream come true? Are you too afraid of messing up to take the chance, do you grab it with both hands, will you take a risk to get it or do you expect it to fall into your lap?

I’m somewhat inclined towards risk. Calculated risk, but still. I don’t think your achievements are worth as much to you if you’re not willing to take a risk for them, to put your belief in yourself and your talents and to work as hard as you possibly can to achieve them.