Elemental Grace

Seasonal Insanity

December 30, 2009

My lovely sister left our post-Christmas celebrations this afternoon, and the house is obscenely quiet. I keep expecting to hear an unlikely crash, thud or squeak as a reminder that I’m not crashing about alone in the cottage. Instead the silence is tomb-like and oddly magnified. There may as well be a giant neon sign in the kitchen flashing away saying “you’re on your own now“. I feel slightly empty and the have that end of Christmas comedown, where the tree and decorations, instead of seeming cheerful, charming and festive, now seems gaudy, over the top and slightly ridiculous.

I’m trying very hard to remind myself that it’s a time to prepare for a new year and a new start and a time to be very positive. 2010 is potentially a very exciting time for me and will hopefully be filled with the opportunities I have been dreaming of and am hoping to put into action this year.

It’s not a time for me to be staring at myself, complete with chipped teal toenail polish, untamed frizzy hair, empty house, comfort clothes that would give Gok Wan nightmares, and a pile of dishes and think, well darling, what the fuck happened there then? Nor is it a time for thinking that I’ve just turned 30 and work in a shop doing something I’m not passionate about while I watch my finances demand that I live less on a budget and more of a shoestring.

This is a time for PRIORITIES, woman! Appearances can be tidied as can houses and it’s not outsides which are to be remedied but dreams that need to be bolstered. It’s a time to remember that every disappointment that was visited upon me in 2009 may well have happened for a reason and can only serve to drive me closer to actually achieving my dreams. It is NOT a time to lose heart, to stop dreaming, wishing and hoping.

Every dream has a rough path and the sleepless nights and moments of wondering if you’re crazy for wanting this instead of a more traditional ‘normal’ path, but overcoming these things is what makes the achievements all the sweeter. I suppose to an extent, it makes me feel like a heroine upon a quest, proving myself worthy of the prize by succeeding at the challenges I’ve been set. Since I rather like the idea of being a heroine in a story of my own devising, I’ll be carrying on with my quest in search of my treasure … but I’ll be buggered if I’ll be doing it without RUM!

Filed under: Giggles Ahoy,Rolling with the Punches

Tags: Blood Is Thicker Than Water, Hide The Minced Pies and Crack Out The Champers: It's Christmas