Friends & Furniture
I’ve spent the last few days feeling very up in their air and not myself at all. I’ve felt reckless and constantly on the edge of doing something unusual. My sleep patterns even went a little awry, and with a day off today, it clearly culminated in my failsafe solution to all emotional troubles. Yep, reorganising the furniture, and the books, and my clothes. I’m a fairly relaxed person about the house as a general rule. I like things to be fairly tidy but I am not by any stretch of the imagination a fastidious person but it was a sign of my emotional wranglings that I woke up and looked about the place and thought something had to be done.
Somehow rearranging the furniture never fails to soothe me. I don’t know why exactly. It might be the order of it, or the process of organising and clearing that I find therapeutic but I can guarantee that if I need to think or to settle, you’ll either find me out walking or inside hauling furniture. Old trunks and chests found new uses and new homes, chests of drawers moved as did their contents and as the contents of my bedroom changed, the very shape, atmosphere and nature of it also changed and there it was, the peace and tranquility that I’d lost in the turbulence of evil ‘everything sucks’ Tuesday came flooding back as I watched my space take shape around me.
But my general dissatifaction with things got me thinking about other things too, and one of those things was friends (once again). I’m the sort of person who really likes their own company. I have so much to do that I am rarely bored and in those relatively short spaces of time when I’m not doing things, I like being able to kick back and enjoy my space, quietly and without interruption. Generally speaking, I’m happy with that.
And then I fell across Caroline’s 21st Century girl post and combined with my sartorial requirements for next Tuesday, I think it must have flipped a switch, because it got me thinking about my different groups of friends. I’m not short of friends, despite the fact that I don’t always make them easily thanks to a combination of shyness and slight overcompensation but I have relatively few that are local, being as I’m new to the area and all.
It reminded me of my University days, where for the first real time in my life, I was part of a group. I could wander up a floor and hook up with people for a cup of tea or wander down for a bit of my own space, if I had a sucky day, someone would roll up and either hear me out, tell me to snap out of my mood or drag me out somewhere to take my mind off it. It was the first time I’d known the comfort of real friendship. Real friends are the ones you never expect yourself to be friends with but seem to end up being friends with despite that, they’re the ones that you can go without seeing for years at a time and conversation still flows like time never passed. They’re the ones you remember having one vodka too many with and being hopelessly indiscreet and they’r the ones you know won’t let your secrets out on pain of death. Real friends turn up without being asked. They know you well enough to know whether to push or leave it alone. When you’re excited about something, they don’t just support you but join in.
We all keep in touch with phone calls, letters, emails and sometimes facebook and twitter but there are some days when you an email doesn’t cut the mustard. Sometimes you need friends around you, be they living down the hall, down the road or a half hour drive away.
I miss having that instant support network on my doorstep, and feel slightly ashamed that when I had it, I took it slightly for granted. I assumed that we’d always be there, always be close, and that things would always be easy. But none of our lives are ever easy, they’re fraught with difficulties, obstacles, diversions and endless demands on our time. It means more to me than I should probbaly admit that these people I care for, admire and love see enough in me to want to carve out the time to spend it with me.
Goes to show, that despite it all … as long as there are people in your life who love you … Happy Days.