Looking at our table of laughing, joking, gesticulating you wouldn’t have seen anything out of the ordinary, just a group of fun, happy, well balanced people. And so they were but also SO very much more. They are people whose spirit not only has triumphed against adversity but people who work hard daily to ensure that EVERY DAY they continue to triumph.

They are inspirational by virtue of no more than who they are. Their triumphs daily inspire my own and they themselves are such lovely people that they inspire help and support from the rest of us whenever they are in need of it.

They are the sorts of people who walk into a room full of strangers and SHINE. They can’t help it. They believe in life taking it by the horns and giving it a smacking kiss on the forehead. They make the world a brighter and more interesting place just by being in it.

While many of us get stuck in our ways: they are an education. They make a lifestyle out of constantly growing, changing, learning and consciously evolving. As their perspectives change, they challenge my beliefs and perspectives and I grow with them.

I know plenty of people who try too hard to be exceptional or extraordinary and by trying so hard, they miss the focus they were aiming for. Extraordinary comes when you know the ordinary intimately. Exceptional comes once you’ve embraced and appreciated the mundane. It comes when you stop trying to be who and what you’re not and be who you ARE to the best of your ability. It comes from having experienced both pain and hardship so that you can truly offer compassion.

They find joy in the smallest things and find wonder in everyday spaces. They know who they are and they know where they come from. They might not know where they’re headed but they make the journey a hell of a lot more interesting.

Image borrowed from here

Sometimes, right out of the blue, something happens that forces you to open your eyes to yourself, and when that happens, sometimes what you see isn’t what you’d like it to be … and sometimes that hits you like a fist in the solar plexus. It’s not a good feeling.

Yesterday I got sucker-punched by the Universe (and by Christ, it packs a punch, I can tell you!) which reminded me that sometimes, I really suck as a friend. Oh sure, I remember birthdays, I turn up when we hook up as much as I can. I offer a listening ear and occasionally, when asked, a bit of advice. But there are times when a friend has to be more than that. Sometimes a real friend looks behind the calls and texts that go unanswered and instead of assuming that  you’re busy, follows hunches and connects the dots, knows that you’re not as ok as you claim and stands up and calls you on it. And that’s what I forgot to do.

I got blindsided by my own worries and troubles and forgot to look out at my friends and see how they were doing. I became blinkered inside my own head and left my friends to fight their own battles, without picking up the phone and BEING there. It doesn’t take much, it’s a small thing to pick up a phone and let a friend know that you’re there and you care, and sometimes it’s the smallest of things that make the biggest difference.

We all have our highs and we all have our rough patches, it’s life and we deal with it but sometimes the highs are exceptionally high and sometimes the lows are so low that they almost require a new word and those are the times we most need a friend … to hold out a hand, to give us a hug, to just BE there.

It doesn’t matter how we make them but those connections are what make our lives, rich, fulfilled and wholesome, regardless of whether those connections are friends, family or lovers. They brighten our days, inspire us, support us, define us and occasionally frustrate the bloody hell out of us but for all their intangibility, they are the most REAL things we possess and we owe it to ourselves and each other to remember that and to put our friendships ahead of all those other distractions we indulge ourselves in, because one day long after our jobs are a distant memory, our friendships will remain and our memories of them will be more precious than any amount of money could buy.

Somehow rearranging the furniture never fails to soothe me. I don’t know why exactly. It might be the order of it, or the process of organising and clearing that I find therapeutic but I can guarantee that if I need to think or to settle, you’ll either find me out walking or inside hauling furniture. Old trunks and chests found new uses and new homes, chests of drawers moved as did their contents and as the contents of my bedroom changed, the very shape, atmosphere and nature of it also changed and there it was, the peace and tranquility that I’d lost in the turbulence of evil ‘everything sucks’ Tuesday came flooding back as I watched my space take shape around me.

But my general dissatifaction with things got me thinking about other things too, and one of those things was friends (once again). I’m the sort of person who really likes their own company. I have so much to do that I am rarely bored and in those relatively short spaces of time when I’m not doing things, I like being able to kick back and enjoy my space, quietly and without interruption. Generally speaking, I’m happy with that.

And then I fell across Caroline’s 21st Century girl post and combined with my sartorial requirements for next Tuesday, I think it must have flipped a switch, because it got me thinking about my different groups of friends. I’m not short of friends, despite the fact that I don’t always make them easily thanks to a combination of shyness and slight overcompensation but I have relatively few that are local, being as I’m new to the area and all.

It reminded me of my University days, where for the first real time in my life, I was part of a group. I could wander up a floor and hook up with people for a cup of tea or wander down for a bit of my own space, if I had a sucky day, someone would roll up and either hear me out, tell me to snap out of my mood or drag me out somewhere to take my mind off it. It was the first time I’d known the comfort of real friendship. Real friends are the ones you never expect yourself to be friends with but seem to end up being friends with despite that, they’re the ones that you can go without seeing for years at a time and conversation still flows like time never passed. They’re the ones you remember having one vodka too many with and being hopelessly indiscreet and they’r the ones you know won’t let your secrets out on pain of death. Real friends turn up without being asked. They know you well enough to know whether to push or leave it alone. When you’re excited about something, they don’t just support you but join in.

We all keep in touch with phone calls, letters, emails and sometimes facebook and twitter but there are some days when you an email doesn’t cut the mustard. Sometimes you need friends around you, be they living down the hall, down the road or a half hour drive away.

I miss having that instant support network on my doorstep, and feel slightly ashamed that when I had it, I took it slightly for granted. I assumed that we’d always be there, always be close, and that things would always be easy. But none of our lives are ever easy, they’re fraught with difficulties, obstacles, diversions and endless demands on our time. It means more to me than I should probbaly admit that these people I care for, admire and love see enough in me to want to carve out the time to spend it with me.

Goes to show, that despite it all … as long as there are people in your life who love you … Happy Days.